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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can get us: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?